I'm ready to drop.

Today I felt so bad. Like at the prata house I freaking shouted and I got like a major stare down from the seniors. Like argh, first things first, I HATE it when people take photos of me. Even if the photo is DAMN nice, I still fucking hate taking photos. It's like if you take a fucking gross photo of me, at least don't show me then when I have a major reaction you like diss me. It's like punching someone in the face for no reason and then like scolding them for like getting pissed. And I need like anger management and I also have a attitude problem. So yeah, if the seniors are reading this, okay, i'm really sorry but stop taking photos of me. That was serious.
And like argh, I'm really not joking anymore when I say I need someone to teach me how to control my anger. It's like I got pissed today because someone threw my eraser on the table. Like, it's not a very valid reason to get like damn pissed off at. And I mean, okay, if you're my close friend, you'd understand this but it's like I think even like a goodest of like good friends only know like at most 65% of who I really am about like everything that goes on in my life and I think the only person that knows me damn well is someone that isn't even here anymore. Like I'm different when I want to be different. It's like if I go all quiet, people think I've like turned into some freak. But like honestly, the only reason why I don't like to be silent all the time is because silence screams the truth and I cannot stand it. It tells me that I'm actually just better off without anyone with me. That I shouldn't even have friends because I'm hardly worth their time and I'm wasting it.
Okay, this is going to be quite shocking to my piano teacher, definitely.But the only time I don't feel pissed at all is when my hands touchs a keyboard. When I play the piano, I feel like I don't even need to like care about anyone anymore because I can just spend the whole day playing it. I mean to people who don't like music, it may be weird and shit but like yeah. I DO practice, just NOT the songs I am required to because I don't like them. And I bet my piano teacher doesn't even know I can actually play Mozart and Chopin pieces from that bloody thick book that I bought MYSELF to learn. And I'm not saying like that i'm damn good or whatever, I'm just saying that I love playing what I play, even the guitar, although I do like piano more, but it's still fun and I enjoy it. And like if you DON'T know me well, SOME OF YOU DON'T LA PLEASE just seriously stop making false accusations about my personality that you probably don't even know half of.
And seriously, after talking to jill, I feel that I'm more dissapointed in myself then anyone else. I am no god and I am at no right to judge them what-so-ever. I am dissapointed in myself, that after awhile, I've turned out be such a bloody screwed up kid. I hate myself more than I hate anyone and I mean it.
My life has just become a boring pop song and everyone is singing along...