What's your porno preference?

Hey guys, i am not talking about porn today, as always my post titles have no connection to what i write.
SINGAPORE IDOL.
I hate it. Okay, i'm not saying i sing like awesome or whatever but like the people this season should just stop singing for the rest of thier lives. Like they KILLED Michael Jackson's songs in the MJ singing round thingy. Like, i bet if Michael Jackson were still alive, he'd sue them. :-/
They sucks major balls and i hope none of them win. Okay, so some of you fans may say "OH OH BITCH!! Not like you can sing either!!" Well, as i have said, i can't sing awesome. But i don't join bloody singapore idol do i?????? NO, I DON'T. UNLIKE THEM, I ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE. I mean, don't they know that they will never actually be like a REAL REAL touring singer? Like look at Hady Mi-blah blah (don't know what the hell his name is) ir that tau-whatever that guy's name is?! They have been long forgotten, i don't even know how to spell their names. If they seriously wanted to be like a REAL (NON-SINGAPOREAN) singer, then they should go to America. :) but well, we all know they're not good enough for that. I'm not saying all singaporeans can't sing, i'm just saying those people who CAN sing, just don't. Like they don't waste their time going for competitions like this because they have to time, so i don't blame those who joined, they should find something better to do, i'm sorry! *pulls out clumps of hair*
OH, EXCEPT THAT TABITHA GIRL. maybe may? or that Charles guy or something. Yeah, Duane should die, again, i am sorry. ;(

The flavour of your lips is enough to keep me here.

I am a liar.

I am self absorbed.

I am in this for me.

I am seeking recognition.

I am not concerned with politics.

I am attempting to rise to the top.

I am never going to forget my intentions.

I am allowed to worry about my own life above the lives of others.

After all,
I am human.

Here's to you.

You act like you're everything you're not, act like you don't care about anything. Guess what? I know you do. You copy what other people do just to fit in, and you think we don't know that. You lie alot, just one of your many awesomely fucked up traits. I swear to god, you have lied and betrayed everyone so many times, you make Adolf Hitler look like a bloody saint. You can go drown in your pool of fuck for all i care. Bloody rip off. You think the people you hang out with actually like you? I'll let you in on something, they don't. Because you have no friends but you still bitch about them, how's that for a friendless loser? You're driving yourself to your grave, i just hope you drive faster.. That's what you get when you take what people have, now it's just your time to pay up for what you have taken. Don't say shit like you don't know why people treat you like that and act all sad and pouty, you know very well why everyone hates you. They hate you because you're a bloody bitch. You constantly insult people, like if you don't like something about someone, you just have to insult them. And you don't just insult people you hate, you even insult your "friends". Not as if you have any now. Yeah, you aren't that blody great yourself. You're a rip off. You're ugly. You're thin as fuck. I think the only thing you can say about other people is that they're fat, because you're so bloody thin, if theres a typhoon or something, it'll sweep you off your feet and you'll be the first to die. And i hope that happens, i mean it. You betrayed your best friend and even liked her guy, yeah HER guy. You even lie about everything you are just so he'll like you back. Yeah, i'm sure those are a few qualities a best friend lacks that you just have to have huh? Honestly, i look up to you. How can you not kill yourself after doing so much shit and ruining people's lives? I look up to you for being a mjor bitch even though you already have no friends, that's something i can never do. I have never hated anyone in my life as much as i hate you. I don't even hate you, i detest you.
Here's to you, you've always been a bitch, an enemy, a loser and a rip off.
I hate you.

Life is like a box of the old cereal your grandma eats, it sucks.

Hey guys, so.... My life has been going downhill ever since my birthday, whooohoo. :-\
Anyways, i think that life in singapore for kids is too bloody tough, i think the only person that doesn't agree with me are the people who are 21 and above. Even my cousin said he didn't learn the stuff i was learning till he was like sec 2? i don't know. Like the government probably thinks that by cramming shit into our brain and forcing us to study, that we will contribute to singapore's bloody hardcore society.
WRONG.
We're failing our subjects because it's too damn hard! Like even if it's hard and we fail, no point in making it hard right? PLUS, some people like *AHEMM* ME , actually get hit by their parents. Like yeah, my dad hits me. alot. He says i don't study hard enough and i don't try. :-\ C'mon, do you think i'm that brainless? If i knew you were gonna hit me if i didn't do well, you think i would've purposely done badly? That's bloody stupid. I hate geography, that's that. I can't bloody do well if i hate the subject, have a bloody weirdass teacher who quite frankly doesn't teach very well, how the hell am i supposed to pass??? It's like forcing someone who is tone-deaf to sing something in tune, IT'S I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E.
I really pity everyone who is around my age now. It's like we have exams all the time, therefore, we get scolding from our parents all the time which is not very good at all. And i just realised my dad has never ever not hit me once for my results before, with the exception on PSLE that is..... But before PSLE in the same year, he did. Sure, he did like not hit me a couple of times, but if he wasn't he'd be screaming in my face. Never once has he talked nicely to me OR my sister about results. I'm sure he had failed something before, he should know we don't like failing too right? I swear, if he did the exam papers we are doing now, he wouldn't pass. So, i get to hit him back.. :)
KIDDING. I'm just saying parents, namely MINE should quit hitting OR shouting at us, or namely ME.
In you face suckas, my dad was an asshole to me last night.
wait, it's in my face..... *flips you off*

Do you really need to see an ID?

Hello fellow jellows, mellows tellows wellows. (what the hell.)

GUESS WHO'S BIRTHDAY IT IS TOMORROW?! *some random girl screams JOHN MAYER*
SHUT UP BITCH! It's MY birthday, hohoho. and john mayers.
I'mma tweet Caleb and hope he replies me. (doubt so) ANYWAYS. I'm gonna drink tomorrow. Hence the title of the post.

I had my science paper yesterday. I swear to god, they ask the most retarded questions!
THEY ASKED ME HOW TO USE A FRENCH PRESSER. WTF. I am not applying for a fucking job in starbucks! I'm doing SCIENCE! what the hell does a french presser have to do with science anyways?! It's like you're doing a math paper and they ask you this "Are you taking a bus home today?" It makes NO sense to put that question in a math paper, THEN WHY DO YOU ASK ME HOW TO USE A FRENCH PRESSER?! Dude! I don't even make coffee and never will i need to! Just buy those little packet things! God-damn it! I'm gonna fail that bloody useless science exam. To hell with science. :
I wanna try a Jägerbomb. Go google it up, i'm sure you'll wanna try it too. And no, it's not a drug, it's a drink.

P.S.// JACK ATTACK. *flips you off*
P.P.S.//Don't ask me for Alex's naked video, NO WAY IN HELL AM I GIVING IT TO YOU!

In your face suckas!

I have officially seen Alex Gaskarth, no not just seen....
SEEEEEN EVERYTHING.
well. almost.

Your sympathetic whispers tell a tale of bad goodbyes.

Listen to the voices in my head rambling on about you, maybe my mind's doing that because you're just too good to be true.

My heart melts with every thought about you, every vision of your face. Every word that you'd speak would make my heart move at a steady pace.
Sitting here with you, not making a single sound. I could do this forever, give that vodka another round.
I need you here with me, i tell you that i do. Then i watch your mouth move as you slowly say, i love you.

No, i am not in love. I did however have voices in my head. And no, i am not schizophrenic.

Champagne's for celebrating, i'll have a martini.

Hello my fellow friends.
So have you heard or know of a band called All Time Low? YES I'M SURE YOU DO.


If you knew them like last year or WAYY BEFORE THAT, yay, three cheers for you.
OR.
If you knew them this year OR LAST WEEK. FUCK YOU.
OR.
If you heard about your friends talking about them, and went to quickly search them up on youtube to act cool, FUCK YOU, DICK FAGGOT!

I think this post should be from both Jill and i because we have discussed this issue before.
We both hate it when people like the same bands as us. Okay, i know you may be thinking like, OMFG BITCHES! Well, yes. :) BUT, that we can handle.
What we really cannot take is that when you only know like one or like a few songs from them and you claim to be their fucking biggest fan. We say, you need to know all their lyrics to be thier fan. And you should have at least on entire album of theirs. I BET YOU DON'T, YEAH I KNOW YOU DON'T.
Okay, here are some questions you should know how to answer if you really do like them. LIARS. (Maria and jill would be able to answer these)

1. Where was Alex Gaskarth born?
2. What is Jack Barakat's middle name?
3. Is Alex a man-whore?
4. What is Jack Barakat's all girl myspace fanclub called?
5. What is Rian's girlfriend's name?
6. Is Zack Merrick hot?
7. Do i know the answer to these questions?

Okay, if you can answer that. You still suck. I'm sorry. Go fuck yourself. I don't wanna share Alex with other litle Asian girls and neither does Jill wanna share Jack. I'M SORRY.
Oh wait, but if you do like them, TAG ME! Well.... because not all people who like them are bad copycat poser bitches. People like hong li..... not k** or her best friends.... ETC ETC. :D
Okay, that shows how selfish i am.
I AIN'T SORRY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMekefHmLVE&feature=related
who doesn't like 4 hot guys half naked in the shower? :)

Jasey Rae

I've never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar.
I've never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire.
I've never lit a match,
with intent to start a fire,
but recently the flames are getting out of control.

Call me a name,
Kill me with words,
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve.
I was your chance to get out of this town,
but I ditched the car and left you to wait outside.
I Hope the air will serve to remind you,that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath
and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.

Gaskarth. is. fuckin'. epic.

ANYWAYS, Today. I was actually just gonna put that up for probably the first few conversations jill and i had like at the start of the year.


Me :"Hey Jill?"
Jill :"Yeah?"
Me :"Do you listen to All Time Low?"
Jill :"FUCK YEAH! What songs do you know?!?!!!??!!"
Me :"Well, i know Jasey Rae and some other songs."
Jill :"OMFG. Okay, let's sing it." *starts singing happily* "why aren't you singing?"
Me :"I don't know the lyrics."
Jill :"What the fuck."

Okay so that ends flashback time. So, i feel like talking abut ah lians now. :) i shall.
So, i think ah lians are very very smart people. Some of you may be thinking "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" well, hear me out, these are some of the reasons why i think they're so smart.
1. Even though they are bloody ugly, they still can get guys to like them. All they have to do is put on ugly makeup, wear short shorts and tight shirts and go play audition. fucking cool la.
2. They are bloody good at hokkien. Like remember that Madeline girl who came and tagged on my blog for NO rhyme or reason? YEAH, i didn't understand a SINGLE word she said, but oh well, you can't blame them. ;)
3. They have like a super wide friend connection thing that can reach all the way to china! LIKE they have gangs in toa payoh, bugis, the drains nearby your house, ETC ETC. WOW! I wish i had that many gangs.
4. They can control their little boyfriends to do WHATEVER they want. FOR EXAMPLE.
"eh, beng ah."
"yes xiaoredzxcxz (or whatever her bloody name is)."
"that gur ah, i tell you ah, CCB LEH!"
"eh, wah piangz, LJ! why leh?!"
"She la!!! ): so chio, want to die like that. go kick her leh beng."
*poor faithful very nice loving caring boyfriend has no choice but to kick that girl* ):
5. They can pull off short shorts/skirts even if they're bloody fat. HEY C'MON. Who doesn't want that?!
AND THE LAST REASON IS......
BECAUSE THEY CREATED A NEW LANGUAGE! it sounds like this.
"I lurb chu, baby boon boonzxzczxcz!! Thanks yous alots for bang wo beat up na ge CB gur. WO AI NI NIA/SIAZXCZXCZXCZXCZ!!!!!"
How smart are they?!
6. They can photoshop photos like REALLY WELL. If like they were flat or something, they can ,make their boobs look as big as bloody bukit timah hill or something. PLUS, they can write all sorts of things like "I need you, DON'T LETS MES GOES!" or something "baby, wo lurb chu dexzxcxz" I don't know, like WHATEVER THEY WANT! and i even heard the new trend is like putting hearts all over your photos! I personally think it's a really good idea because, they can use it cover thier mouths if it's too big! OR cover their pimples! okay, maybe not pimples then the whole picture will be filled with hearts. :P
Well, i should probably stop bragging about how awesome they are, they might just get their little gang to beat me up. :D
well... even if they did, i wouldn't give a shit. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSEEE...........!!!!!!!!!!! :\

Just another mistake

Keep quiet, nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday.

That was random. Like really random. ANYWAYS. I got a "scolding" from my science teacher. Apparently i know very little about sex..... says her. :)
SO WHAT? if i don't know how to spell ghonorrhea, and i spelt it as gonorria. IT STILL SOUNDS THE SAME? (i still don't think i know how to spell it) SO WHAT? if i thought a good way to prevent the spread of AIDS is to NOT HAVE SEX AT ALL. I mean it's their fault (most of the time) that they got AIDS, i mean.. i'm right aren't i? Like if you have AIDS then don't have sex la! You were the bloody bugger who had sex with some man-whore or like HOE? right??!! YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. SO WHAT? if i don't know how to spell Vasectomy and spelt it as vysectomy? IT SOUNDS PERFECTLY FINE. In fact, i think you guys should ALL start spelling it this way! I mean c'mon... When the fuck would i need to know about Vasectomies? Not like i can EVER have one anyways. I don't even have a dick. (or do i?)
This is why my teacher thinks i don't know much about sex... well, we'll see about that. :D
Anyways, GO CHECK THIS GUY OUT! Made my day better! He's such a funny man-whore. whoops, i called him a man-whore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v2Rr1QuJ2k&feature=channel
WATCH TILL THE END. Don't stop halfway, then you'll miss the good part!


P.S.// tag replies.
Alvin - Hahaha, you sure i won't regret it?
Weiting - woah-kay.
Nat - done. :D